Purple lotus

(Click on the flip book for the full story and issues throughout are relationship, that goes into full detail and I take full accountability for my actions, so anything you don’t see here will be there)And I hope you like my song choice(recommended listening while reading)

The Little Beginning

Before anything serious…we were just friends.And somehow, that was already special.You were the first person in a long time
that felt easy to talk to.No pressure.
No pretending.Just… you.And I didn’t know it yet,
but I was already getting attached.

The Pepper Trick

I still laugh thinking about this.I really tricked you into sending me a selfie
by saying you looked like a pepper 😭And the crazy part?You actually did it.That moment… it sounds small,
but it meant something to me.Because it was one of the first times
I got to really see you.And yeah… you definitely didn’t look like a pepper.You looked better than I could ever imagine.

You & My Music

You don’t even realize how much this meant to me.Every time I sent you my music…you had something good to say.Every. Single. Time.And it wasn’t fake.It felt real.You lifted me up in moments
where I didn’t even say I needed it.You made me feel like
what I created actually mattered.I started making music only for your enjoyment because seeing you happy makes me happy

The Way You Treated Me

You were so nice to me.Like… genuinely nice.Not forced.
Not fake.Just naturally caring.You would update me about your life,
tell me what was going on with you…And somehow, without even trying,
you made me feel safe enough to do the same.You were the first person
I felt that comfortable opening up to.That’s not something small to me.That’s everything.

The Day Everything Changed

June 17th.I don’t think I’ll ever forget that day.You were nervous.I could tell.But you still told me how you felt.And I’m so glad you did.Because that moment…was the start of the best year of my life.Being with you felt right.Like everything finally lined up.

Roblox & Your Sister

I loved the first time we played Roblox together.It wasn’t even about the game.It was just being with you.And that was the first time your sister knew about me.That moment stuck with me.And yeah… she’s funny too, I can’t lie 😭It felt like I was slowly becoming
a part of your world.And I liked that.A lot. I also remember when we called through my PlayStation controller lol

Your People

I remember meeting your friends.Sky.
Tula.They looked out for you.Even when things weren’t perfect between us,
they still helped in their own ways.And even if I felt like Sky didn’t fully like me sometimes…I understand it now.She was protecting you.And honestly?I respect that.You deserve people like that around you.

Nightly calls

I still remember the first time we video called.You showed me your room…
your drawings…
little pieces of your world that no one else gets to see.We tried to call every night after that.
It was sooooo good like, I could just stay there forever.A little after, we watched an Ice Spice music video together.
And wow… the twerking had me cracking up 💀.
I couldn’t believe I was laughing that hard over a call, but it was perfect.Those moments… they were simple, small,
but I felt closer to you than I ever had with anyone.

December (The Truth)

December is where I messed up.And I won’t dress it up or hide from it.I hurt you.And even in that time…you kept showing me who you were.You kept proving why you’re different.Why you’re special.Why you’re… you.And that’s what makes it hurt even more to look back on.Because you didn’t deserve that.Not even a little bit.

What You Did For Me

There’s something I’ll never forget.You risked things for me.You had your phone taken away…
using your tablet, trying to still talk to me…Even being scared you might get in trouble.And you still stayed.Because you loved me.That kind of love…is rare.And I didn’t protect it the way I should have.

January

That’s when everything broke.We lost what we had.And I felt it.For real.Not just missing you…but realizing what I lost.

March: Finding Our Way Back

When you came back, it felt like a second chance.We talked again.
Hours, long conversations, just being there with each other.we also watched Euphoria.
You were shocked.
You literally called it straight-up porn 😤…
And yeah, okay, it basically was but with a story😭.Even during scary moments like when Iran started launching missiles, and you went offline for three days I felt so helpless.
I didn’t know if you were safe, and that fear… it shook me.Luckily, it turned out to just be bad internet.
When you came back, I couldn’t stop myself from hugging you through messages, even though it was virtual.
That’s when I realized how much I truly need you.After that, we started watching videos about military life together.
I wanted you to know that if we ever got married, I would make sure you’re taken care of.And then your sister saw us on call, so we ended up watching it all together.
I got to talk to her for the first time.
I was a little awkward, trying not to make a bad impression,
but it was nice to get to know her and see that she’s as amazing as you always said.At that time, I also started thinking long-term about being strong for you.
I even signed up for the military because I want to be someone who can protect you.

Showing you I care

While you were away, I posted about you so much.
I know it upset you a little because I didn’t ask permission.
But you forgave me, and I’m grateful because you understood it came from worry, from love.That’s what you are to me, Lamar.
The one I can’t stop thinking about, even when the world is falling apart around us.

Committing to Change

I’ve cut off what needed to be cut off.
No more distractions. No more influences pulling me away from you.I’m focused.
On being better.
On being someone who doesn’t just love you…
but protects that love, every day.

Still You

After everything the fights, the mistakes, the distance
it’s still you.You’re not replaceable.
You never were.
And you never will be.Everything I do now is for you, Lamar.
Because loving you means being the person worthy of you.

Always

No matter the past, the chaos, or the storms we’ve faced…It’s always been you.You’re my anchor.
My calm in the storm.
My favorite person.And I’m never letting go.—Zion